The Inner Transformation
Over the past few years I have shared hotel rooms with cross-dressing friends at different events. It is a great way to lessen the expense as well as get to know a friend much better. One of the most interesting parts is to see they how change as they transform from men into women. Not only is the visual transformation dramatic but the change in voice and mannerisms can be impressive as well. The change seems to happen subconsciously. I doubt this is true of all cross-dressers but I have noticed this happen with me as well.
In regular life I have all of the mannerisms and presentation as any typical male. However, when I start to dress enfemm almost instantly a change of my mannerisms starts to take place. In fact, I've noticed that when I am about to start becoming Heidi my movements and gestures become more feminine as soon as I take my male clothing off. That never happens when I take my clothes off just to shower or change clothes.
There is definitely a state of mind that changes as well. While I am always conscious of my true identity I become deeper immersed in my female character as my senses confirm it. When my panties, breast forms and padding give me the right shape I can feel myself start to move more gracefully. Wearing heels, even 2 inches or so, encourages me to stand straighter, have better posture and walk with a stride that is more feminine. Feeling the earrings and other jewelry dangling and swinging with my movements enhances things further. The smell of conditioner, hairspray and especially perfume add another dimension of femininity. Seeing my reflection in the mirror with the makeup and wig confirms to me that my female persona is complete and gives me the confidence to go out in the world as Heidi.
All of this is maximized when dressing to the nines. The look and feel of nylons and high heels; the sound of the heels clicking across a floor; the swish of a skirt or dress as it sways when I move... Even though I know some people will notice that I am a man in women's clothing, the attention to detail help me immerse myself into the character and present myself in looks and movements in a way that I am proud of and hopefully that image is one that other people will respect as well, even if they do not approve.
