Sometimes I get asked whether I worry that I might get recognized from posting photos on-line and that being known as a man that wears dresses might have negative results. I do worry about this a little bit but not much.
The perceived danger is that I will be “outed” as a cross-dresser. Then, supposedly, friends and family might treat me poorly or it might affect how my employer treats me.
I certainly don’t worry about my job. I’m confident that it would be a non-factor at work since it doesn’t affect my work at all.
I don’t worry about my friends, family and neighbors finding out, either. If any of them make too much of it then they it would just expose what kind of character they have by not considering the other positive attributes that I have thus far exhibited.
Even if the response is negative it might present the opportunity to educate people about many of the misconceptions regarding crossdressers.
While personally dealing with any negative responses does not worry me, the prospect of my family having to deal with the responses of their friends and family is of some concern. Even though the same holds true about the true nature of those people showing through, I don’t want to put my family in uncomfortable positions. For this reason I do not come out and make it known that I have a feminine side. Certainly, the safest thing to do would be to stay off the internet all together, but I believe (and my wife has said as much) that participating as I do makes me a better person. And after over 10 years on the internet, so far things have turned out well.
I thought it might be appropriate to address the topic of “admirers”.
The majority of people I hear from are other CD’s. Additionally, I do hear from a smattering of GG’s. I also accept that men sometimes contact me.
The vast majority of all emailers are respectful. Most just wish to congratulate me on a job well done. Occasionally, one will ask me if I want to meet or date. Usually I assume that he is not serious and is just paying me a compliment or has not spent much time reading my stuff or he would know that I don’t do that kind of thing. Either way, I just take it as a compliment and move on.
I rarely get vulgar remarks. Those get deleted and the sender blocked.
(And I almost never get disapproving mail although that has happened a few times as well.)
I originally started posting photos as a way to get feedback from others about how well I can pull off a look. Also as kind of virtual way of getting out of the closet and meeting other like-minded people. And this is still true today. Even the more sexy photos are intended to portray an image of femininity that I find appealing; and also to try to display my art of female impersonation.
My wife has said the attention of male admirers is the thing that bothers her the most. It creeps her out that men are looking at her husband in a lustful way. Personally, only the crude comments bother me but I’ve found that they are easy enough to ignore and by not responding and encouraging them then it stays on a manageable scale.
It really doesn’t bother me that men find my images attractive. I try to present an image of femininity that I find appealing and it stands to reason that other men would find those images appealing as well. I will look at women that I think are attractive and try to figure out what elements of their appearance I find appealing. Then I try to determine if it is something that I could integrate into my look. Luckily, my wife as figured this out and doesn’t get upset when I seem to be checking out a pretty woman.
I believe the crossdresser and the admirer are both similarly intrigued by the contradictory ability of a regular male to successfully present an image of femininity. To me, Heidi is basically a fictional, fantasy character and as long as people view it as such then all is good.