Maintaining Balance
I think it’s safe to say that although all crossdressers feel a need to dress in female attire it is also safe to say there is a lot of variation within that classification. Some men might wear pantyhose under their clothes once in a while. Others feel they must dress fully as a woman at all times. At one time it concerned me that it seemed that most cross-dressers I became aware of on the internet that appeared to be similar to me seemed to quickly accelerate their crossdressing from occasional closeted dressing to an obsessive compulsion to do and be everything female. I feel bad for the people in their lives who may have been hurt by the promises and commitments that were broken as well as the negative reputation that all crossdresser are sometimes painted with. However, over the past few years I seem to have become aware of a large segment of the cross-dressing population that appears to be able to hold the balance between their male life and experiencing their feminine side.
This has been what I’ve always strived for. I love my wife and kids. I love being a husband and father. I honestly like doing the guy things that I do. Yet sometimes I find myself giving my feminine side too much attention and need to make sure I take stock and give the other parts of my life the time it deserves. I do my best to only take the opportunities to dress as they present themselves naturally, rather than alter my schedule to find time to dress. This might mean that I don’t dress for a few months at a time but I also might get to dress a few times in the same month. I try to make sure that I don’t take time away from the family. I also try to not use “family money” to support my hobby. Crossdressing can get expensive so I try to use only money I’ve saved or made on the side and not part of the family budget.
I think it’s natural for a wife to view her husband’s crossdressing as a shortcoming on her part. As if she wasn’t pretty enough to appease him. Even when it is known that a man’s desire to dress in feminine clothing usually starts at a very young age wives tend to take it personally. I sincerely think my wife is the most beautiful and feminine creature on the earth and I make sure in my words and actions that she knows it.
Wife Teaches Me about Value
On a recent vacation my wife and I saw a commercial for a western clothing store going out of business so we decided to check out their boots. I knew it would be fun to look but even discounted boots are usually too expensive for me to purchase. The store had an unusual strategy of not giving you the price until at the register then giving a discounted price based on how much you were buying...ie the more you buy, the bigger the discount.
Nikki quickly found a few pairs of cowgirl boots to try on. I glanced at the cowgirl boots in my size and didnt look too long when I saw that the prices were well beyond my comfort. The most I'd ever spent on boots was $35. It seems like a waste and a shame to spend much money on a silly hobby like crossdressing especially since I only get out a few times a year and therefore already have an ample supply of clothing.
Next I looked at the men's boots but there was nothing there that interested me so I went to check on Nikki. She asked if I had found anything and I said they were too expensive. She said to take a pair I liked and bring them to the register to see how much discount they would give us. So I went back to the cowgirl boots and saw a GORGEOUS pair that I hadn't seen before. They had been placed among the wrong size. So I took them up to the register with Nikki's 2 pair. When they quoted us a price it was higher than I had hoped so I told the salesgirl to just give us a price for the 2 Nikki was buying. I said the other one simply wouldnt get worn enough. Nikki was visibly disappointed in me and so I said, "You want me to buy them??!!" She said, Yes.
As we left and I was feeling bad for spending so much of what I consider the family money saying that I would never wear them enough times to justify that expense. She countered:
"You rarely spend money on yourself. You should spend money on things you enjoy. Do you think the neighbor with the boat 'gets his money's worth'? Do you think my cousin with the horses rides them enough to justify the expense? It's not just about how much you use it but having something you love to use anytime you want is a priceless feeling."
Is it any wonder I love her so much! I love her ability to analyze situations objectively even one that can be illicit emotional responses in many wives.
