Heidi Phox's Website

Recently I was in an aisle at a department store (in guy mode)and noticed a TG woman shopping with a cis-friend. I've seen this trans-woman before and she is usually quite passable. This day however her attire was not mainstream enough to avoid attention. Nearby a man was waiting at a sales counter and commented to another man who was currently being helped by the staff, "Did you see the Adam's apple on that one?" The second man said, "I was getting a little nervous" And the first man said, "I was nervous for you."(since the transwoman had passed close by). 

I found this quite rude. What were they nervous about? Did they think she was going to hit on one of them? Did they think her TGism was contageous? Were they afraid of being turned on my her? Did they feel the need to be negative to prove they were not gay? Maybe it was a situation that neither was prepared to deal with and in order to avoid being flustered by an unfamiliar situation the only strategy they could come up with was rudeness. 

I considered saying something to them but decided against it thinking the woman was not hurt since she didnt hear them and it was none of my business. 

For those of us who support TGs, what is the best way to react when you see a crossdresser out in public? 

There is kind of a sisterhood among cross-dressers and whenever I see one, especially if she’s looking good, I feel a desire to show some kind of support. Of course, at the time I’m in drab and to her I am just another guy that appears to be a potential threat that might make things uncomfortable. I want to give a thumbs-up to say “Way to go” but know that can be misconstrued. Even offering a compliment to her looks is kind of a backhanded compliment since I wouldn’t normally do that to any GG. It’s confirmation that she is not passing and not good for her confidence. Probably the best thing to do is to just ignore her. I wish we had some kind of secret signal. Let’s work on that! LOL. 

My wife had a situation a few weeks ago where she felt like she should have done or said something. She was shopping at a second-hand store and a cross-dresser came in and was NOT dressed well. Several people just stopped and stared. My wife felt like she could have taken a few minutes and given him a little help picking out something a little more appropriate.  But she was afraid of spooking him or embarrassing him. When I’m out in public I’m pretty content to just be ignored.  In that case maybe just ignoring him might not have been the right thing to do. Or was it? Was it satisfying to him to be out and dressed like that? Maybe he didn’t need help and was there picking out more appropriate clothing already. Would it be appropriate or even possible for another crossdresser who isnt dressed enfemm to offer advice

 Is it better to be accepted as a man-in-a-dress or ignored in the way most people just ignore each other?

 What do you think is the best way to react to these situations?